50+ Most Funny Quotes About Your Ex Who Betrayed You

The following funny quotes about your ex are uplifting and can help you move on from a relationship that has ended. They are savage and hurtful, showing your love and support with or without hurting your ex-partner but definitely leaving happy.

Heartbreaks are difficult to get over, especially for emotional women who may hold onto their feelings even after a breakup. However, some people come to appreciate the benefits and good memories shared with their ex-boyfriends.

Despite the challenges, moving on and giving a good love about the past can be worth it. These uplifting quotes can help you move on and give a good love about the past.

Funny Quotes About Your Ex

  1. “You’re my ex. That means I no longer owe you any answers. Don’t worry about who I’m with now. It’s not you.”

  2. “My ex is living proof that even if you’re trash, you can still be recycled.”

  3. “We looked at each other, smiled and agreed that maybe I’m too intense. Then we ate our food and I just smirked because I knew it was true.”

  4. My ex and I had a lovely marriage. It was more like a beautifully choreographed dance… on a minefield.”

  5. “I told my ex we could remain friends. Now I realize I might have to downgrade that to acquaintances who nod politely at each other from across the street.”

  6. “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.” -Mae West

  7. “When your ex texts you after months “Hey, What’s up”…Not today Satan, not today.”

  8. When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.” – Drake

  9. “Breaking up with my ex was like getting rid of a stubborn virus. Took a while, but eventually, my system started functioning normally again.”

  10. “If my ex ever tells you they miss me, remember: they’re probably just aiming for sympathy cookies.”

  11. “Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, in order to discover […] that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being.” – Jean-Yves Leloup

  12. “Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich… want those leftovers too?”

  13. “Yes, you broke my heart, but after seeing how much uglier your new girlfriend is than me, we can call it even.”

  14. “My ex is like a TV remote. I can never find them when I need them, and they always show up at the most inconvenient times.”

  15. “I don’t have exes, I have whys. why did I date you? why did I think this would work out? why am I still talking about you?”

  16. “It is so strange, to encounter an ex. It’s as if you’re in a foreign film, and what you’re saying face-to-face has nothing to do with the subtitles flowing beneath you. We are so careful not to touch, although once upon a time, I slept plastered to him in our bed, like lichen on a rock. We are two strangers who know every shameful secret, every hidden freckle, every fatal flaw in each other.” – Jodi Picoult

  17. “The way My ex used to lie…even when he texts me “Good morning”, I had to go outside to see if its really morning!”

  18. “If I had a dollar for every time my ex crossed my mind, I’d be broke because they never left.”

  19. “My ex should be given an award for the most creative excuses. Maybe something like ‘The Nobel Prize for Fiction.”

  20. “You’re dating my ex? You do realize this means I know how pathetic your’sex life is,right?”

  21. “I’m not saying my ex is ugly, but when we broke up, my mirror sighed with relief.”

  22. “I don’t think much about guys from the past. I’m glad I knew them, but there’s a reason they didn’t make it into my future.” – Lorraine Rosenthal

  23. “I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.”― Amit Kalantri

  24. “I don’t miss my ex, but I do miss my favorite hoodie that they ‘borrowed’ and never returned.”

  25. “Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you’re still stupid”

  26. “My ex and I are like parallel lines – we’ll never meet, and that’s just fine.”

  27. Sometimes a woman will look back on what she had, not because she wants to go there but to motivate her to do better.” – Reuben Holmes II

  28. “If my ex’s ego were dollars, we could solve world hunger.”

  29. “My ex’s idea of commitment was remembering my birthday… sometimes.”

  30. “My ex-boyfriend had a really strange sense of humor. He thought cheating was a joke.”

  31. “Breaking up with my ex was like finally turning off a rerun of a bad sitcom.”

  32. “My ex’s idea of compromise was agreeing with whatever they wanted.”

  33. “When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better.” – Jamie Weise

  34. “My ex should come with a warning label: ‘Proceed with caution; contents may explode unexpectedly.”

  35. “Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?” – Bill Maher

  36. “It’s disconcerting to realize how little you have to say to someone who once occupied such a prominent place in your bed.” – Sue Grafton

  37. “If my ex were a flavor, they’d be plain yogurt – boring and easily forgotten.”

  38. “To save face, it’s better not to ask sex from the ex, but to give everything the axe.” – Anthony Liccione

  39. “Dating my ex was like trying to play chess with a pigeon – they knocked over all the pieces, pooped on the board, and strutted around like they won.”

  40. “My ex’s idea of romance was sending me memes instead of flowers.”

  41. “The good news is your ex set the bar low enough to make your new boyfriend’s ordinary accomplishments seem impressive.”

  42. “One of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.” – Mandy Hal

  43. “Dating my ex was like trying to fold a fitted sheet – frustrating and ultimately pointless.”

  44. “The best revenge you can get on your ex is to move on and let them see you happy with someone that treats you better than they did.” – Sonya Parker

  45. “I’m not bitter about my ex, I’m just seasoning my life with a little extra salt.”

  46. “Dear Ex, as easily as I hired you, I had to fire you. You lied and couldn’t meet the requirements of the job. Goodbye”

  47. “Breaking up with my ex was the most diet-friendly decision I ever made – I instantly lost 150 pounds of dead weight.”

  48. “All we shared was a mattress, and a lie, and an address.” – Billy Talent

  49. “My ex is like a GPS with a broken voice – always telling me where to go, but never in the right direction.”

  50. “I don’t write about you because you don’t deserve to be immortalized in my words. I’ll leave you to float around in my mind until forgetfulness comes to take you away.” – J.A. Anum

  51. “If my ex were a movie, they’d be titled ‘Gone with the Brain Cells.”

  52. “The best comeback to your ex trying to make you jealous? Just smile and say, ‘I remember when I used to care too.”

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