The following funny quotes about your ex are uplifting and can help you move on from a relationship that has ended. They are savage and hurtful, showing your love and support with or without hurting your ex-partner but definitely leaving happy.
Heartbreaks are difficult to get over, especially for emotional women who may hold onto their feelings even after a breakup. However, some people come to appreciate the benefits and good memories shared with their ex-boyfriends.
Despite the challenges, moving on and giving a good love about the past can be worth it. These uplifting quotes can help you move on and give a good love about the past.
Funny Quotes About Your Ex
- “You’re my ex. That means I no longer owe you any answers. Don’t worry about who I’m with now. It’s not you.”
- “My ex is living proof that even if you’re trash, you can still be recycled.”
- “We looked at each other, smiled and agreed that maybe I’m too intense. Then we ate our food and I just smirked because I knew it was true.”
- My ex and I had a lovely marriage. It was more like a beautifully choreographed dance… on a minefield.”
- “I told my ex we could remain friends. Now I realize I might have to downgrade that to acquaintances who nod politely at each other from across the street.”
- “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.” -Mae West
- “When your ex texts you after months “Hey, What’s up”…Not today Satan, not today.”
- When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.” – Drake
- “Breaking up with my ex was like getting rid of a stubborn virus. Took a while, but eventually, my system started functioning normally again.”
- “If my ex ever tells you they miss me, remember: they’re probably just aiming for sympathy cookies.”
- “Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, in order to discover […] that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being.” – Jean-Yves Leloup
- “Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich… want those leftovers too?”
- “Yes, you broke my heart, but after seeing how much uglier your new girlfriend is than me, we can call it even.”
- “My ex is like a TV remote. I can never find them when I need them, and they always show up at the most inconvenient times.”
- “I don’t have exes, I have whys. why did I date you? why did I think this would work out? why am I still talking about you?”
- “It is so strange, to encounter an ex. It’s as if you’re in a foreign film, and what you’re saying face-to-face has nothing to do with the subtitles flowing beneath you. We are so careful not to touch, although once upon a time, I slept plastered to him in our bed, like lichen on a rock. We are two strangers who know every shameful secret, every hidden freckle, every fatal flaw in each other.” – Jodi Picoult
- “The way My ex used to lie…even when he texts me “Good morning”, I had to go outside to see if its really morning!”
- “If I had a dollar for every time my ex crossed my mind, I’d be broke because they never left.”
- “My ex should be given an award for the most creative excuses. Maybe something like ‘The Nobel Prize for Fiction.”
- “You’re dating my ex? You do realize this means I know how pathetic your’sex life is,right?”
- “I’m not saying my ex is ugly, but when we broke up, my mirror sighed with relief.”
- “I don’t think much about guys from the past. I’m glad I knew them, but there’s a reason they didn’t make it into my future.” – Lorraine Rosenthal
- “I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.”― Amit Kalantri
- “I don’t miss my ex, but I do miss my favorite hoodie that they ‘borrowed’ and never returned.”
- “Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you’re still stupid”
- “My ex and I are like parallel lines – we’ll never meet, and that’s just fine.”
- Sometimes a woman will look back on what she had, not because she wants to go there but to motivate her to do better.” – Reuben Holmes II
- “If my ex’s ego were dollars, we could solve world hunger.”
- “My ex’s idea of commitment was remembering my birthday… sometimes.”
- “My ex-boyfriend had a really strange sense of humor. He thought cheating was a joke.”
- “Breaking up with my ex was like finally turning off a rerun of a bad sitcom.”
- “My ex’s idea of compromise was agreeing with whatever they wanted.”
- “When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better.” – Jamie Weise
- “My ex should come with a warning label: ‘Proceed with caution; contents may explode unexpectedly.”
- “Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?” – Bill Maher
- “It’s disconcerting to realize how little you have to say to someone who once occupied such a prominent place in your bed.” – Sue Grafton
- “If my ex were a flavor, they’d be plain yogurt – boring and easily forgotten.”
- “To save face, it’s better not to ask sex from the ex, but to give everything the axe.” – Anthony Liccione
- “Dating my ex was like trying to play chess with a pigeon – they knocked over all the pieces, pooped on the board, and strutted around like they won.”
- “My ex’s idea of romance was sending me memes instead of flowers.”
- “The good news is your ex set the bar low enough to make your new boyfriend’s ordinary accomplishments seem impressive.”
- “One of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.” – Mandy Hal
- “Dating my ex was like trying to fold a fitted sheet – frustrating and ultimately pointless.”
- “The best revenge you can get on your ex is to move on and let them see you happy with someone that treats you better than they did.” – Sonya Parker
- “I’m not bitter about my ex, I’m just seasoning my life with a little extra salt.”
- “Dear Ex, as easily as I hired you, I had to fire you. You lied and couldn’t meet the requirements of the job. Goodbye”
- “Breaking up with my ex was the most diet-friendly decision I ever made – I instantly lost 150 pounds of dead weight.”
- “All we shared was a mattress, and a lie, and an address.” – Billy Talent
- “My ex is like a GPS with a broken voice – always telling me where to go, but never in the right direction.”
- “I don’t write about you because you don’t deserve to be immortalized in my words. I’ll leave you to float around in my mind until forgetfulness comes to take you away.” – J.A. Anum
- “If my ex were a movie, they’d be titled ‘Gone with the Brain Cells.”
- “The best comeback to your ex trying to make you jealous? Just smile and say, ‘I remember when I used to care too.”
